脆弱

今天，在路上无意间听到一位妇女在讲电话。她显得很紧张，讲得讲得， 她的声音开始有点哽音了。我看着她， 心想， 原来不管在那个年龄， 不管这女人在那阶段是扮演着那个角色， 一但遇到伤心的事， 多坚强的她还是会掉下眼泪。 哭， 是一种舒发脆弱情绪的一种表现。

今天， 也听到某人说：

当你爱上一个人的时候，你就好不保留地付拖他一份权利来伤害你。

爱， 让人变得好脆弱。

:'(

values

values are important..

they develop a person's dignity..

they mould a person's character..

they map out a directional route...

they build the basic essentials to live by...

what are my values, what do i valued?

i need to earn money...

i don't worship money

i need to have a position...

i don't flaunt my status

i need to be satisfied with my works...

i don't want to be recognized with "well-done" notes

i need to perform my works with pride..

i don't need to outshine my peers

i need to have challenges in my work

i don't need to proof anything which i'm not

my values, just simple, do the works i like

do my works properly, decently, rightfully, responsibly...

ain't gonna aim for the top..

ain't gonna shine..

ain't gonna aim for monetary rewards as bait...

i value my works as i value my self-worth...

thinking of this..it's sad if the values mis-matched..

let go

下次， 我再也不会这么轻易动情。

傻瓜， 放下他。

stab

i'm trying hard to get over it...

why do you keep coming back to haunt me...

a stab and another stab...

how much more i can handle...

to put on a brave front...

an empty facade hiding a bleeding heart...

can you just delete off away...

nothing ever happened between us...

nothing ever sweet happened before...

we ain't meant to be....

weapon

放下拳头，会不会更自由？

when you turned back..

to look at me...that look killed me..

my heart, at that moment stopped..

i felt a stone tumbled on my chest..

i couldn't breathe..

that feeling..is like you want to find a corner and hide..

to stay composed, to probably breathe..

that look - i saw disappointment in your eyes..unspoken words trapped in you..

you were fighting to convey something across and yet your words seemed ain't right..

you were trying, hoping i understand, you were crestfallen..

you didn't want it this way, i didn't want it this way too..

but you didn't know what i want, and did you know i want more from you?

you left with puzzles filled your mind..

when you walked out that door, turned back, waved to me..

shown in your eyes that said "will i see you soon again?"

i don't know, i'm waiting for you to decide..

and this is it that i need from you, nothing more than this..

do you know?

猜

曾经有人说过，如果一个男生亲吻一个女生的胳头，那表示疼。

但是， 疼并非是爱情。

那么，这男生并非爱这女生？

爱与疼之间，就被隔着一道捕索迷离的裂痕。

猜不透。。。

just simple

hmm..i don't need a well-done note..

i just want simple procedures...

a quiet environment to work and think...

less personal agenda to be obliging to...

and stop those kiddish girly nonsense...

womanly

would i be gentle, submissive, thoughtful, less-defensive..

give in to everything in the world..

to live my role..

i do have a homely calling..

i love everything in a home..

i love ties, the strong and unassuming responsibility..

i love cuddles; bringing warmth to the person i love..

yes, i do

growth

i earn SGD X,XXX each month.

not a lot, but really satisfactorily enough.

deduct off my monthly expenses, i am still able to splurge on luxury stuff, and to save around SGD 2,000 per month.

it's ain't the $$$.

after working for so long..finally i am enlightened by the recent incidents I encountered at work.

so many times I whined about uncooperative colleagues; unclear procedures; unsupportive superiors etc.

I didn't see a clear picture of what are required of me?

now I finally understand; God put people in situations to learn and grow.

my SGD X,XXXX pay is not a charity; it's not a reward, it's painstaking hard works.

to view in another angle at the calling of my works to earn this SGDX,XXX.

I have a new perspective:

My works are worth for this SGDX,XXX because of my abilities and I'm capable to:

- cope with the stress of uncooperative colleagues

- motivative my less interested boss

- manage the inconsistent and disorganized procedures

- solve problems

- take the craps of lazy sales people

I hate to equate my works with SGD X,XXX.

But to view it in a corporate's perspective, it's a respect of individual works and esteem.

So, from now, I'll be less whining.

God put me in a place where He will turn monstors into Angels; adversities into a learning lab.