This supposed to be a private inner thought of my own. But I thought I should reveal my inner thought to some people, instead of bewildered them by my nonchalant response whenever they eagerly invite me to certain activities. I couldn't bear to disappoint anyone further, but I need to make my point clear. =)
It has been a while ago (I mean months ago) that I've been feeling guilty that I've been obsessed in idolising stars; and spending time and money on them. I don't know why, this guilt just occurred in me as time went by, and I was perturbed by this. Although during those times, I really enjoyed the thrill, as it said...it was only a thrill...afterall...a passing thrill.
This guilt dominated me even deeper whenever I leave Church after Mass... it kept me thinking why was I so naive and gullible in engaging my attention in such idolisation activities. Have I been putting God First? Have I been idolising temporal things instead of my God? Aren't believers agree that God alone is our idol ? Frankly, I was ashamed.
Thanks to the small misunderstanding, it answered those doubts which disturbed me all that while. It awakened me; it reminded me that I have my own priorities that require my attention and time to focus on. I don't see the point of "offering my presence" to support any stars in buying their albums or attending their autograph sessions to boost their popluarity...etc...etc...
There is no animosity, no anger, no jealousy or whatever negative feelings here. It's just that I am awakened! I will buy any albums which I thought I like the songs compiled; or when I admire some people talent...and I thought I want to keep their works on my CD rack.
And of course, if I bump into anyone or acquaintances I knew...I have no reason to avoid them and I will definitely say "hi"! Don't get me wrong, this is just my personal reflection, it does not apply to anyone who feels comfy with anything they do. It is just me, who are "awakened" now! (or "changed" if this makes you feel better...)